A girl once said..

Sitting in midst of the cool evening last monsoon with friends, I came across a conversation that would change the way I think about women, the way I love, respect and feel about them. And it came off from a girl, a female friend of mine who I think of as one of the few persons I’ve ever come across or will ever can, who thinks not like everyone thinks. There were other friends and all of them guys, she always felt comfortable among us and we all daily met. As we discussed various topics over the evening, someone made a joke that didn't go well with her and it was with regard to what happens to men after they get married and the way wives torcher them and that kind of jokes, which was made with an only intention for some light hearted humor.

“It is not we who torcher, but you guys torcher us after marriage, we serve you food, we raise up your kids, we even leave our parents and take care of your family as if our own, we sacrifice our whole lives in the well being of the people who we have just met and what do you guys sacrifice for us?”

A silence. Everyone were shaken up enough to keep their mouths shut and she knew she was making a point. From the short laughter of that joke to the silence of that answer, everything seemed sudden.

“You know what men give us. They harm our modesty. They molest us. They abuse us. They think we are things to be played. They think we are a source to an entertainment that they shittily enjoy. And what we think you know that we are born to be this way. To be thought of as a minority among you people. To be servants in life with a bond named marriage. That stunts us as humans, the dreams we dream for ourselves, the desires we have that no one gives a shit to.”

“But you know nowadays even women are given equal freedom,” one guy said.

“What do you know about freedom? The way we feel when someone stares us at a bus stop or when they pass abusive comments that we could never think of. It scares us deep inside, it makes us shiver thinking what would happen if no people were around. If he would ra.. Leave it, what would you understand about freedom, security and about fear of being alone, the fear of helplessness because you are a boy and someday you will marry and bring in a wife who’d maybe give you a daughter and only then will you little understand the freedom you can provide your daughter because much of it would harm her security and you’ll be as helpless as your sweet daughter would be because you know this world isn't a fair place for girls as it for boys.”

“And then when you don’t allow your daughter to wear clothes that you find disapproving and allow your son to roam in knee-torn jeans, when your son calls in and says that he’ll be late tonight you’ll allow and when your angel says hey dad can I come little after ten it’s my bestie’s bday then you’ll shout and ask her to come home immediately because she’s a girl, how can she be out of home late night. Only then would you understand the way she buries her desires, dreams and pleasures happily just because she knows she is a good daughter and then marries an idiot whom you say she would, she happily does so and then she goes through all that her mother went through in her marital life without a voice because she then realizes that she doesn’t even have a voice, you’ll fulfil all the needs of her in-laws and give in whatever they ask you for because you want your daughter to live happy and also because you know you have a son who'd marry a girl of her choice and even her parents would suffice your needs because even they want their daughter to live happily. And this will continue with your grand-daughter too because the same happened with your mother. Because we all are born for this.”

She stopped there. Neither everyone’s moistened eyes nor the way everyone clapped but her courage and the audaciousness with which she spoke the things that every girl, every women feels among the few boys is what amazed me. And what made me share this is all of what she said was truth.

Because girls, this is not what you are born for, you are born to be loved, to leave us guys behind in everything that you can think of with the same passion we do. Because you can dream the way we do, even better.

Posted by Aditya