Of uselessness and realizations..

It was one past midnight. Usually I never woke up at this time of the night or didn’t actually sleep before I feel the morning would be harsh if I didn’t. I went and sat on my sofa thinking about the uselessly rapidly passing time (in context with the life as a whole) and the utterly slowly passing time (regarding the present time) which made me think of doing something useful, something materially useful rather than only ‘imagining’ brilliant ideas. I thought some more about the people whom I see have made it big in life, all those who are admired by (only) thoughtful people like me and who inspire me to do something like them which lasts only a few seconds of infatuation. Then I got super excited thinking about this could be the night where I am struck with some earth shattering idea that could be the next world changer and I would talk about how I got this idea 20 years from now egotistically with a grin of pride. I waited for that idea to strike me hard and break this soothing yet annoying silence of the night. A part of me also giggled about how I handsomely manage to waste the whole day and return to think life changing ideas when what you are meant to do is get some sleep. But people sleep to regain the energy that is lost, to rest so they can live tomorrow with greater zeal, so basically I had no reason to sleep. And it gave some good sense about comparing myself to successful ones who also happen to remain wide awake late at night (the only difference is they work over the day too). But then, no such ideas seem to come and I curse myself for not thinking hard enough. No worry, I am really good at this waste your days and think at nights thing and I am really consistent at this, mind you! Dude we are the people who do things only when there is no reason left not to do it and actually feel cool about it. And also I have this amazing acting ability when under peer pressure to meet deadlines to show that I don’t really care about it. When underneath I am struggling as hard as any of them, burning ass and iced mouth sort of thing. And suddenly I realize that I am struck with a voice, a voice so loud in my head that I feel it is being said by someone whose voice I nicely recognize thinking is it God speaking to me because of my perseverance of being awake for so long just for an idea to strike? Later I realize it is my mother yelling sleep or not to complain when she spills cold water over my face tomorrow morning. And again I realize another thing that today happens to be Mother’s day. It's already 2.30 in the morning. So I go and wish her. I say that I won’t yell at her when she throws cold water on me tomorrow and that’s my gift for her. I laugh. She laughs. I hug. She kisses me. I say I love her. She says she loves me too. 

Happy Mother's Day.

Posted by Aditya